Azkaban Changes
by Grittie
Summary: Harry is becoming aware of the betrayal of the so called light side.


Life in Azkaban wasn't really all that bad once the dementors started to avoid me. I mean really, I was fed better and more often then I ever was at the Dursleys, I didn't have chores or homework, I had no one beating me up or trying to kill me, it was all good. The company wasn't even all that offensive. I could hear screams in the distance but the only person close enough to talk to Malfoy's Father Lucius. It is ironic really, the man has a sense of humor. It is sarcastic, bitter, and usually at my expense, but the man really can be funny. I had little to be irritated by as I was after all guilty. I had cast an unforgivable. It was only because I was underage and it really hadn't worked that I received a four year vacation instead of one that lasted as long as I did. I would have thought that I would be more upset with my friends testifying against me to save their own bits, but I never really had a lot of faith in others so it was simply par for the course. I'm not even mad at the old man throwing me under a bus, he did place me with people he know would hate and abuse me. I can't imagine why I would think it beneath him.

As far as the dementors go, I really don't understand what happened with them. They seemed to be quite fascinated with me at first. They were always hanging out by my cell. I never did handle them well and I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have kept my sanity much longer if it hadn't been for the explosion. I woke up to the sound of my mother dying and one of those evil creatures kissing my forehead, right over my scar. I could hear mum screaming "not Harry" and feel something slimy and unclean being sucked out of me. The creature let out an inhumane cry just before it exploded into black dust. After that they never entered our block. In all truth it all turned out wonderful for me. I no longer appear to be connected to Voldemort. No more visions, not more cruel tricks, no more, in my opinion, connection to the prophecy. I also keep growing more magically powerful. I can feel it building and I can now do wand less magic. Lucius thinks that 'the dark lord ' was siphoning my magic through the connection. Slowly sucking it away like I was a magic juice box. It makes sense to me, not that I would tell him that. The man has a big enough ego as it is. I redecorated my cell right away, and after getting tired of his whining, I did Malfoy's as well. A nice long soak in a hot tub really hits the spot after hitting the weights and jogging around my indoor track.

Lucius doesn't understand why I don't just leave, taking him with me of course. After all the dementors are afraid of me and I can certainly open the cell doors. He has a point but I have no intension of leaving until I have done my time. I don't have that much longer to serve and I plan to walk out of here a free man with no obligations to any of them. I no longer plan to kill Voldemort. The prophecy said that I would have the power to defeat him, not that I would have to use it. The whole bit about neither can live, well I am willing to suffer a half life to spite the ministry, Dumbledore, and the general sheep. I have no obligations to any of them. My parents and Sirius died so that I would live, not for some mythical greater good. No I will walk out of this prison and into a life of obscurity, or die trying. Okay maybe that is a bit dramatic, as I really don't have any desire to die, either for those idiots, or by their hand. I intend to simply abandon them to their own devises.

There is a part of me, I call it my Slytherin side, that want's revenge or at least to watch them all crash and burn. I won't deny that I am not above a little hate, torture, cruelty, etc to feel vindicated, but mostly I simply wish to be my own person. I never had that privilege as I was growing up and I do want to claim it now. I don't much care anymore about other's welfare, they killed that when they threw me under the bus. they can think that they are light and blameless, but I know different. They thought they could use me, throw me away and reclaim me at their convenience, they thought wrong. I will become my own man if it kills me to do so.

I have decided that I will let Lucius go once I am free. The man is far to humorous to rot here. He still thinks that blood matters, but at least now he is wondering what that really entails. I mean really his 'master' is the product of a weak witch and a muggle, and I am the issue of a muggle born and a blood traitor, it must boggle his mind. I am simply grateful for the levity that he provides, who would have thought that a Malfoy could make fun of his own progeny.


End file.
